


Madness in Great Ones Must Not Unwatched GO

by peculiarhair



Category: Slings & Arrows
Genre: Gen, Insanity, Madness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-12-24
Updated: 2009-12-24
Packaged: 2017-10-05 04:58:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,005
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/38044
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/peculiarhair/pseuds/peculiarhair
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A brief (999 words) story on Geoffrey Tennant's descent into madness.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Madness in Great Ones Must Not Unwatched GO

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Scribe](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Scribe/gifts).



> I forgot the name of the restaurant that he went to after he jumped through the trapdoor, so please forgive that error. I'll fix it later, but given this timeframe, I couldn't go back and check. Cheers!

For a moment it didn't register.

_Ellen is on her back in Oliver's office._

It was simply a fact.

_This should mean something. Rather, I should feel something. Ellen is my fiance. Ellen is my FIANCE!_

Suddenly it hits.

_Whatthefuck? I was just getting changed into street clothes! Oliver's gay! Can he even get it up for women? Did she orgasm? What time is it? My head hurts. What? No. Stop. She loves me. I think?_

Suddenly, a memory.

_"At least Oliver makes sense! You--you're insane, Geoffrey!"_

And a mental response in place of the verbal one.

_"Well Ellen, I certainly am now." Well, maybe not yet. Is this what it feels like? Unhinged. That seems like a good word. Rehinge. Is that even a word? I think that's what I need to do._

A mental image of Marley's ghost tying the handkerchief back around his gaping jaw appears.

_I think that's what needs to happen with my mind. Rehinging. Like a jaw. Or not a jaw. Maybe like a broken door. Or a jewelry box. Jewelry box? Do they even have hinges? Yeah, I guess they do._

A sound cuts through the fog. "Ooh, God. Oh, fuck, Oliver!"

_About that rehinging. I have to go._

But the thoughts don't go away.

_Who does she think she is? Oh God she smells like him. She's kissing me oh god. Does Oliver have STDs? I hope she doesn't wanna fuck tonight I couldn't get it up for her oh wait she's showering. Good. No sex tonight I'll pretend to be asleep._

The next day it's forgotten about. Not really, but not quite as burning as the night before. Until the show.

_Ophelia's fucking Laertes. Wait. That's her brother. She's not be fucking him. Is she? Wait, no. It's Polonius. Wait no. Claudius. I think. Wait. I know a hawk from a handsaw. Ellen--fiance, is fucking Oliver--director. Claudius? No. Oliver. Oh shit my line. Are people watching? Oh god they're all watching me. Do they know? Everyone knows that I'm not good enough. Ohmygod the entire world knows that I'm not enough for my fiance. I mean, Ophelia. I mean, Ellen. I, wait, fuck. Is this blade actually sharp? Can I stab myself in the throat with this? Oh fuck they're still watching. I don't think I'm allowed to do that. I wonder how they press charges against the dead. Zombie court. Human judge. What?_

There's a pause in the dialogue. It's long--two seconds--five...

_This hole seems like a good place to disappear. I like black. Soft at the bottom?_

And the actor disappears from stage, lost through a trapdoor.

_Not so soft. Ophelia's dead. I mean. Ellen? Is she dead? Yes. No. She's fucking Oliver. The audience is watching her. No. They're watching me. It's dark. Did the lighting guy fall asleep again? I'm hungry I think Yon's is the best place and also no one will notice me or know my name and what is that noise?_

Not quite knowing how, he shows up at Yon's.

_Oh god everyone is watching me. Yes I want a beer do I look like I want grape juice? Everything on this menu looks good fuck, they can all hear this. Wait. Am I talking out loud? I hear me, but can they hear me? I can't tell the difference between my mind and my voice. They sound the same. God would they shut up and leave me the hell--_

"FUCK OFF!"

_Ah. That's the difference between my inside voice and my outside voice. Maybe they'll get the message oh I like beer so much._

"Hey, Prince Charming. This is a family place."

_He's smaller than me._

Without hesitation, he's tackled the guy and ended up on the floor.

_Mom was right. Martial arts would have been a better idea than acting. Do they know their ceiling's dirty? I should have eaten at the bar a bar guy wouldn't have minded the language how did I get outside. This is a valet service just for me. Do they leave the keys in the ignition this one did. Oh. I have my prop knife with me good I'm going to Ellen's. Can you kill a guy with a prop? Maybe? Has anyone died of prop wound since this century started?_

The car smashes into something as he rolls into Ellen's driveway.

_I'll kill Oliver tonight. And then we'll have a beer and a few laughs. What is that? What a piece of junk house this is what a piece of work what a piece of work is man. What a piece of work is man. What a piece of work is man, how noble in reason. Noble in reason. Noble. In reason. Reason. Reasonable. "Be reasonable!" oh god she always says that. Is Oliver reasonable? That must make him noble. Noblesse oblige. What does that mean? He's holding her. At her house I'm at her house and she's at her house and he's at her house and he's holding her and I'm on the porch._

And all the fire drains out of him.

_Why the park? Can one drown oneself in eighteen inches of water? I could be a merman. Mer. Sea. No, I could be a pondman. Green pondman. I could ride on the swans. Yeah. I'll ride a swan if it would only hold still dammit stop thrashing around i am your master and you are my swan and if you don't like it you have a really long neck I will tie it in a knot. A decorative knot._

Now the police are involved. He shouldn't be incarcerated, but the only way to defend himself is to explain.

"I was only trying to tie the swan's neck into a decorative knot to punish it! It deserved it! And so does Oliver. I'll tie his dick into a decorative knot and see how he fucks with that! Oh GOD what a piece of work is man!"

And then it's dark. And mercifully--quiet.


End file.
